Where do you sit morally when it comes to screen use?

I had an intriguing conversation with a friend this winter about the drawbacks of the advent of smartphones, social media and online gaming. 

I spoke from my gut about my fears of how this technology is affecting the development of children and teens, but also cited evidence showing links between screen use and increases in child and adolescent mental health issues, attentional issues and addictive behaviors. My friend pushed back hard asking me if these problems were more correlated with screen use or caused by them. 

Photo by Nils Huenerfuerst on Unsplash

While Jonathan Haidt in his book, “The Anxious Generation” (and subsequent podcasts) cites evidence that the links are causal, much of me wondered why we need the studies to prove what many of us, including myself, feel in our guts?

Ezra Klein in his podcast with Haidt titled “Our Kids Are the Least Flourishing Generation We Know Of” affirms this sentiment: “We have views on what is good or bad. And they don’t require 16 years of randomized, controlled trials. They’re just actually our views on virtue.” He goes on to say that regardless of what the data says, he believes that being plugged into media all the time is fundamentally a “bad way” of being a human being. I would argue that many parents tend to agree. 

Yet here we are stuck in endless battles with our children about screen time. Klein asks, why is it that parents are afraid to stand up to what they morally believe to be true: that interacting with a screen more than the people around you, mindlessly scrolling content that is meaningless, amoral or even harmful, posting pictures of oneself to be judged and rated by others or to be immersed in online games in an unknown community where slurs and degrading language can be the norm (see adolescent psychologist Lisa Damour’s podcast “Should I Let My Son Spend All His Free Time Playing Video Games?”) is OK? Do we need endless studies and expert claims to tell us that something is wrong?

I don’t mean to be alarmist, and smartphones, social media and gaming are not all bad. Keeping in touch with friends, watching cute doggie reels, creating and rehearsing dance videos and increases in spatial awareness that can come from playing video games are all positives. At the same time this wave of technology is moving faster than we can often keep up with, and it is controlled by outside forces, driven by profit motives that are extremely hard to contend with. Companies are making large sums of money off the data we and our children provide by viewing our scrolling preferences; they impose algorithms that keep us addictively immersed in content and siloed in a particular direction; and deliver dopamine hits so strong that when we are not on screens the real world seems boring. We have unwittingly sold our attention.

Human childhood is the longest of all mammals. We require a lengthy time of learning, socialization and development to have such large functional brains and live within moral, cohesive societies. As Haidt points out, children and teens learn what it is to live and function well in these societies. That is done through play in multi level age groups where conflicts arise and are resolved and norms are modeled by the group without constant adult supervision; where they are given responsibility in real world meaningful tasks; and where a moral compass is passed down through generations.

When we introduce smartphones and other screens to our children, we take away this play-based childhood and replace it with a phone-based childhood, thus interrupting the critical experiences necessary for human development.

Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash

While not always the case, the morals that are being delivered on screens can be harmful: Be thin, be fit, be beautiful, and this is the one clear path toward attention, likeability and prestige; watching the suffering or injury of others or animals is OK and even laughable; sharing posts or photos that can be harmful and are not yours to share; creating a norm of slurs or degrading comments toward others; or public social exclusion.

What kind of virtues or character traits do we hope our kids develop? Are we actively trying to instill these traits or are we just hoping our kids will pick them up? And is the pervasive use of technology helping or hindering the process? Think of, for example, kind, compassionate, hard working, responsible, curious, caring and thoughtful individuals who have a moral compass, think about others, have attentional focus and can maintain strong relationships even through challenge. These can be hard to develop and maintain in a culture where smartphones are pervasive. 

Online platforms steal our attention. The dopamine hits we receive from the TikToks, Insta reels, Youtube videos and the games leave us craving more dopamine. So we scroll faster and further to the point where we barely focus on the content and instead scroll for the next best reel, reducing our attentional focus to 10 second intervals. Kids fast forward through shows, turn to their phones while watching a movie or skip to the next Youtube video before finishing the first. This is what can make it so hard for them to read a book, focus on a project, or complete a challenging task. Haidt calls TikTok the “greatest demolisher of attention in human history”.

If, as Haidt says, 40% of American 2-year-olds have their own iPads and 50% of teens say they are online almost constantly, what is happening to their attentional abilities and who is monopolizing their attention? And is it a force that is teaching children the virtues of self confidence, acceptance of others, critical thinking and knowledge of oneself? David Brooks in his April 10 New York Times opinion piece writes, “passively scrolling TikTok or X weakens everything from your ability to process verbal information to your working memory to your ability to focus”. And if children are given a device every time they have a strong emotion they will never learn how to manage disappointment. 

There are many things that seem fundamentally problematic about a childhood raised on too much screen time. If we think deeply, I don't think we need endless studies and data to make that case. As parents we can think about what it is we want for our children, who we want them to be and who we want to be as parents, and make decisions for our families from there. 

I don’t want to leave you with only talking about the problems of a childhood raised on too much screen time. Stay tuned for my next column where I will offer ideas for solutions, and if you are looking for something now, read my May 3, 2023 column “Need screen time limits? Create a family technology pact”.